also be days of leisure? bought the 88cent shampoo. bought some mondo coolers or something, swiss cake rolls, and a bottle of boones.
could be sewing or eating or swimming or workout or bathing for hours on end? could be procuring paper towels. lately i spend a lot of time spraying fruit flies with windex. attempting capture. murdering.
realizing my lack of command of the english language. of proper language, at least, which frightens because then i'm just ignorant - not railing against convention, just doing the things that i'm doing. which is sort of what i've been striving for
and could be the greatest way to be. you cannot lose if you don't play the game (?) all my life advice is coming from movies and tv shows and does that make it mean less? it's some luck what you learn and what sticks.
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rachael watched the wire
in 2009
september 2009
this was some obama era wire watching???
i watched the wire
i don't know
a long time before that
i was like the first motherfucker
in my group to watch the wire
i was watching the wire
early on
i loaned all my wire dvds
to numerous motherfuckers
it got to this point where people
they would ask me for wire dvds at parties
i watched the wire
i watched the other shit too
what i mean is i watched the corner
which was this show that the motherfuckers that made the wire
made before they made the wire
this weird thing happened
i took all my wire dvds
to sell them
at spindle
and the dude there was like FUCK YA I AM SO HAPPY I AM EXCITED THAT YOU ARE SELLING THESE WIRE DVDS YOU HAVE THE FUCKING DOPEST COLLECTION OF ALL TIME MAN
and it's just like
smh but that's cool or w/e
but really it was like
later i brought it some other dvds to sell
and one of them was the corner
and he was like 'ya i don't want that dvd man'
it was along with some other dvds
that were like cheap as hell shitty dvds
like that movie with ashton kutcher
dude where's my car
or shit like that
it was like the corner was in that pile
which seemed fucked up cuz
like dude loves the wire
psyched as fuck on wire dvds
doesn't want the corner dvds
in my mind that dude became a big ass poseur
at that moment
this was in 2008
the year i moved to omaha
i've increasingly come to believe that
moving to omaha
was the worst choice i ever made
and i feel this intense regret
that i didn't stop eating swiss cake rolls
and drinking boons and mondo coolers and shit
when i was living in lincoln
like instead of moving to omaha
i should've stayed in lincoln
and done everything that i did
after living in omaha for awhile
i feel so sad about my life
and my lack of command
which frightens me
because then i'm just ignorant
just doing the things that i'm doing
which is sort of what i've been striving for
could be the greatest way to be
stuck in some sort of loop
regretting
all those years
i spent regretting
is that what is going to happen?
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