Monday, September 21, 2009

can work days

also be days of leisure? bought the 88cent shampoo. bought some mondo coolers or something, swiss cake rolls, and a bottle of boones.

could be sewing or eating or swimming or workout or bathing for hours on end? could be procuring paper towels. lately i spend a lot of time spraying fruit flies with windex. attempting capture. murdering.

realizing my lack of command of the english language. of proper language, at least, which frightens because then i'm just ignorant - not railing against convention, just doing the things that i'm doing. which is sort of what i've been striving for
and could be the greatest way to be. you cannot lose if you don't play the game (?) all my life advice is coming from movies and tv shows and does that make it mean less? it's some luck what you learn and what sticks.

1 comment:

PHC said...

rachael watched the wire

in 2009

september 2009

this was some obama era wire watching???

i watched the wire

i don't know

a long time before that

i was like the first motherfucker

in my group to watch the wire

i was watching the wire

early on

i loaned all my wire dvds

to numerous motherfuckers

it got to this point where people

they would ask me for wire dvds at parties

i watched the wire

i watched the other shit too

what i mean is i watched the corner

which was this show that the motherfuckers that made the wire

made before they made the wire

this weird thing happened

i took all my wire dvds

to sell them

at spindle

and the dude there was like FUCK YA I AM SO HAPPY I AM EXCITED THAT YOU ARE SELLING THESE WIRE DVDS YOU HAVE THE FUCKING DOPEST COLLECTION OF ALL TIME MAN

and it's just like

smh but that's cool or w/e

but really it was like

later i brought it some other dvds to sell

and one of them was the corner

and he was like 'ya i don't want that dvd man'

it was along with some other dvds

that were like cheap as hell shitty dvds

like that movie with ashton kutcher

dude where's my car

or shit like that

it was like the corner was in that pile

which seemed fucked up cuz

like dude loves the wire

psyched as fuck on wire dvds

doesn't want the corner dvds

in my mind that dude became a big ass poseur

at that moment

this was in 2008

the year i moved to omaha

i've increasingly come to believe that

moving to omaha

was the worst choice i ever made

and i feel this intense regret

that i didn't stop eating swiss cake rolls

and drinking boons and mondo coolers and shit

when i was living in lincoln

like instead of moving to omaha

i should've stayed in lincoln

and done everything that i did

after living in omaha for awhile

i feel so sad about my life

and my lack of command

which frightens me

because then i'm just ignorant

just doing the things that i'm doing

which is sort of what i've been striving for

could be the greatest way to be

stuck in some sort of loop

regretting

all those years

i spent regretting

is that what is going to happen?