Saturday, May 31, 2008

arrived at job interview

only to find out job interview had been forgotten/not written down by interviewer. slightly awkward phone conversation ensued, during which i was instructed to go to another location this afternoon. went off bicycling and saw the man who fixed my bike/got whistled at (not by the man who fixed my bike).

It's you

It's you it's you it's you it's you
I don't know if you know what this
is to me what this means. I mean
to ride my bike tomorrow. Please
don't be confused. I mean what
I mean which is: it's you. And.
I will ride my bike tomorrow. And
I love.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

work = blah

hey, why don't you murder me some flowers? i don't know it just strikes me as money. hooray bleeding. hooray body and all the senses of that. hooray i shouldn't be doing this ri

Friday, May 23, 2008

forgot

to tell you. man at bike store complimented my shoes.
my bike is fixed and ready to be rusted again. free
lube jobs (don't tell everyone). be selective. mmmm
oh mm. little bit of boredom never hurt anyone where
is the coffee. gertrude stein gertrude stein gertrude stein
rhubarb is susan. puket fish. garam masala purchased
with beer after pants after walking in rain without
an umbrella to umbrella. sadness. need coffee. want.

mmmmmiss or something some absence some over presence
of lackluster of interaction
lackluster of
little to none and of wine.

but mainly missing
the center
(to be centered is to feel
like an actual person why
does that always get taken
from me why
do i give it up where is it)

and what do i want to be when i grow up
so the bro's on vacation (from school). don't know why he couldn't have taken care of the dog, at least for the night. i think my mom wanted me to come up thursday a. because she wanted help packing, and b. she thinks my dad and her might die and wanted to tell me in person where the will is. is this where i get my constant concern about dying? maybe that's why i was always praying they wouldn't die when i was a kid and still praying; maybe she told me about her mom and i thought it would happen to everyone (it will eventually).

i forgot to give the parking pass to cari in my hurry to get out of the office.
i forgot to take that food. again. damnit, maybe i can get in the office when i go back to lincoln TODAYYY.

shit, son. i don't know what to tell you, i think you left the maps behind. i dreamed of a bicycling belly dancer last night and people with saws sawed in half in the mall. a woman walking into my bathroom stall and then getting angry. dreams are strange. you were being strange in my dreams last night. i have to separate myself from that, from the melancholy colors, from their loud mad voices at 4 in the morning.

i want to purchase high-waisted pants because i think they will match a tanktop i've never worn
yet.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

There Will Be...Pokemon?

Squirtle used to be my favorite. Squirtle and Psyduck. "Psyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Oh that shrinking sinking sliding under bookshelves frame of mind.

Here it comes again
here it is. I work in cycles. The shower meant me being more socially awkward than I have been in quite some time. Not collected enough? Too much drink, not good sleep? Getting hit on the back repeatedly the night before and then reminiscing about taped tongues? Taped mouths. Oh, the glory of it all. It's not glorious. I felt small
in the scheme of things in the sense of non importance, of breathing being a privilege I didn't deserve. I felt flat, sort of 2D, corrugated like cardboard and ripped open to expose the lines. Today things think
beautiful powerful wet. I'm in pieces, piecing, sort of still
the earrings through the lips each side
then programmed for "ear." I love you. I feel like I have something to reach for
inside myself. Like I'm not just sitting on that couch hoping
to sink. Oh love of words. Oh the beautiful nature of loan consolidation.
How much debt do you draw? How many times will I be able to say this?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I don't know about faces

and chase. I drank far too much coffee too late in the day
now I'm tired but I can't sleep and I don't like the Sarah McLachlan
that makes me think of. Good God. God God. I miss you I just do
and I'll see you soon enough I guess
*smile*

it rains and it winds and I think about your facial hair

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Yessssss

I understand and I wish to continue

but it keeps telling me I am as a virus
or some such

madding. (FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD
in high school. "the slang for a part is a whole"
Thomas Hardy is hardy is ready to party) Bowl.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

""

should i shave my ____ ?
do you shave your ____ ?
how do you do it?

how hangover

where my love
where the sense of
incessant embrace
a brasserie

ubiquity's the new in-joke

i don't think
i understand
your tree language

in the dream
a poem related
to by anyone

-the pronouns open
fantastical imaginatory
play place

i want to eat your brains, i don't want to eat anything
taste anyone
right now

oh god

last night i wanted
closeness closeness
just that sense of love
and let's be friends

now i want sleep i want to slip
somewhere separate

which will come to pass as well

Friday, May 2, 2008

I think we should go sailing

I have this desire to take shots
get wasted and it's fucking 4 in the morning.
Really it was just that sense of accomplishment
following any paper of greater length than average.
It's really nothing to be proud of. Not as good
as the post-feminist critique of rae armantrout poems.
Bitchiiiiiiiin'''

Galleries tomorrow (Today!)

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I'm at school

I'm like a kid. There were kids by the fountain
some in it and it's always this staring at
when kids come to the union. No goats. Just

kids and their parents and always until recently
I didn't know how to read things. My mind always
deconstructing what I now know has always

already been in a state of deconstruction. And our society
is a collective consciousness denial. We want
the black and red divisions of clean and dangerous

but it's not that simple - it's simpler. Until we
complicate. Things are. Then we make words
to represent. It is this that lies come from.

It is because no one can ever really know exactly
what another one is sensing without sensing
through their separate body. It is kids. And goats.

And music making our ears drip lace.

clothes from the goodwill

will you ever understand me? /All together now:

your love is like a cyclone in a swamp
and the weather's getting warmer