you glean what you will from anything and go with it

me. "truth and falsity in an ultramoral sense." the comfort i tried to glean,
thinking nothing meant anything anyway.
what it means now,
we all are fools. why say what you do not mean
intentionally? why sever this connection all the more
between you (visceral) and you (an intellect). i am one
person. all i can do is act and then recount
it. all i do now is wait. and cry. wait to cry and in which way.
i don't think this was all my doing in that i didn't choose
to be born but i can take responsibility for my actions
and wait to see where your brain has taken you.

i'm sad. i think. i miss you. it's difficult for me
to concentrate on other things, but important to try
because i do not know where your brain is taking you - where you
are taking you. i've already been given much more
than i hoped for. from this point anything positive
is extra.