May be starting a new job on Tuesday. Which is stressful in numerous ways. Dreamt about hiding from zombies last night. Eric says I'll probably hate the job but like the money and so be stuck in hating where I am but trying to sustain for that check. Which, upon hearing, made me not want to anything. Possibly also because I've been getting up at 5:40am for the past coupla days and not napping and trying to be normal. That early in the morning is not normal for me.
And what to do about a car. Bundle and bike downtown? If so, will probably cut off all new hair growth and quit wearing makeup. That's one other thing that makes me wary of this transition. Besides the fact that it's not a done deal and still I had to give notice...
Fuck.
Tuesday.
And what and where and how and I have to beg Eric for his car or plan and time the bike in the possible snow and the definite cold...

Have you been poisoning me Against my
self My whole
life?
Need sleep. Need someone to take my shift tomorrow. Need not to have to work on Monday. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
need my own car.
Need some transport to get to a job to make money to save to buy a car.
Maybe I can ride the bus. I should look into that.



Oh, and, I hate America.