I spend a lot

of time at work compulsively biting the skin of my fingers
off. It's a vicious boredom-bred desperation. But boredom
isn't it. It's the not wanting. And not being able to. The frustrating
nature of all of this tediousness and the annoying whine this place is to me. I don't know
what I would want to do but not this. Going running with Cassie
tonight, if all goes as planned. Needing to unpack my room. Needing
to remember to shut the door to my bedroom.

This morning when I got home the chain was hooked so I could unlock
but not enter the apartment. Annoying. I considered trying to slam it off
but instead just called Katie and then ate an egg to calm myself. Those chains
they really do fuck up getting into a place.