who wants to go swimming with retro suit?! i have retro suit.

you can't trust me you can't trust me you can't trust me because I will be ALL ABOUT eating you alive, and will feel bad about it half to two thirds of the way through but by then you are already HALFWAY EATEN*.

what you gonna do then?
nothing mothafucker nothing.

I won't really eat you I won't even bite you but I might be mean or try to be funny or something and then feel real bad about it like I HURT YOU
Hay-zeus-christo. Mother yes Mother mother mothery

I do want to smother you a little no
not as in suffocate but just I want to smother you
in jam? In rhubarb jam? A little whip?






Arrived: two dresses from mod cloth today
not. sure. if-i-like-themmmm
well, if they like my body and are good on me/will behave.

Still to arrive: new glasses



*you may be, possibly, mayyyybe are 2/3 of the way eaten

What's beautiful

makes you a mythical creature I use too much.
The dog looks like Falkor
Is licking at blood on its leg
Is stretching.
Doing crooked face and dragging its body along
the rug with it's front paws pulling.
We cooked what looked like the hungry hungry caterpillar,
making baked kale again, or maybe some sort of grub - salted and heated and oily and wilting like the leaves. It's a forest out there. I mean it's a garden. But it's not really just the plants. Things are dirty in there really dirty. They've got life all over them and you taste it when it's entering you.

stop being boring and really be something with pink lips and cut hair and good poems really inventive and magical delicious poems and then I'll bake you all the kale I promise it'll be so perfect and crunching down on it.

Do you remember the flooding before your nap? Flooded down to the toes through the entire lower body and then later flashes.
I thought you were making the noise of a raven at me or said raven or cawed but I just breathed differently to let you know I knew you.

Whaddaya know!

I'm an introvert!

It storms. This morning was a rainbow and a bug up my nose. Oh fug.
And a too short dress a bit bit
and then Mary Kay "free facial"s
not so facial, i mean, not so much
i didn't buy anything or get anything
much out of it

And then grits

And teeth.

new laptop. New conversation with my mother
who called me with my brother's phone to make me answer

better
better
better

i wish someone knew and could tell me
all the answers to any questions__like why this sudden socket

or sodden. from where.
there hasn't been a lot of typing__what so
without the caboose and without Maude to make it

so so. Sew you. Sew pieces
with threading
with needling

sew lovely little birdy's bones
sew
chew.















we'll chew the lads into completion
and out of this mass. we'll roil within
and boil our skin until ready and sold

so for vending.







what was sylvia plath thinking
you could ask. you could ask all the questions
be answered. all there is

pieces of days combed into a life
this is happening__now
we are happening.

in the bedroom__behind walls
that small

space of mold on the ceiling turned floor.
the blackening and the swamp
there. where it's happening.

your wet life. your wetting. your beautiful skin cells
are shedding.

Oh wow

it's been a bit since I authored that last little whatnot.
But whatever. I'm living the real life.



Your apricots are skin
-crawling. Stop motion

animation. I mean the folds.
And folding. I mean the nudity.

Never
on the couch. Never finish

on the floor.
Where we've walked and walked. You know mothers.

Teaching their children. In the supermarket.
You see them putting the objects back
in all the wrong pockets. And checking. And checking out.

sometimes i think myself a self-hating woman
you know. like a self-hating mexican. my grandmother is a self-hating woman.
ugh. don't read this, myfamily. i just remember talking about it with my mom when i was a kid. and this is always the point in the thoughts where i recount my dad saying
we could ne-ver have a woman president, are you kidding~~ with the monthlies?! you can't leave them next to the nuclear button. you know, that button that you press and the whole world gets nuked

can you
just give me all of the music

i've been biking a lot lately
and watching historical fiction or
action films or
fantasy

i listen to the harry potter books online on youtube
in reverse
and i swear i'd thought i'd read that sirius died but he's alive and it's not because of the backwards
at least not this backwards
=
i don't know where i'm going with the race relations