Talents

spending an inordinate amount of time googling cures to my faults. Or sources. Taking stabs at any number of life's many mysteries.
"social anxiety disorder"
"what's the difference between social anxiety and shyness"
"does raw onion make you thirsty"
on the last, directed to a forum, where someone said their grandad had taught them that a woman's pussy tastes like onion and also how to kill a man in one motion. (or something, some such similarity)
Today I spoke with the Mayor of Humboldt.

I'm just not

that kind of girl.

***boilerboilerboilerboilerboiler****

obviously

my blog is amunderful.

[graphic, sexual, and hermaphroditic. dream.
i'll let you make up your own little fictions.]

i told carlin that i'd heard the boiler room was not that great
but then i looked it up and i'm not entirely sure i was referencing the same place

i mean, it looks good

i just can't remember
w/e it was my mom relayed a lackluster experience she and my dad'd had
those foodies. those

foodies

you might be accursed and afflicted with/by candida
if you crave all sorts of sugary bready
and comforting things like wine
and a nice aged cheese and any fruit or cake.

on the other hand

I'm only joking

when I make little jokes to you
on here

You are dead.

I mean, you died.
You're particles.
And finally.
He is

afterall

the only rabbit I'd thought to follow.

Under bushes through
bramble

Whatever bramble is

leads
to the trenches.

She's creaking
without your use. Leaking
from the elbows. Needs
a good greasing. To get up

to look through the window.
You are still and always

in a small pouch. Enclosed
in plastic, then velvet.
Couched in the console.




(what i probably would write now if asked instead of what i wrote then, presented, me in black yoga pants and an orange wrap top. to a funeral?)

funereal.

Tonight's Movie

Splendor in the Grass. Recommended because I "really liked" (via Netflix) The Lover. Different movies. I love the retro. Early 90's depicting colonial Indochina/60's-ish depiction of the Great Depression Era.
Ended up liking Splendor MORE than The Lover because it does twist and build to a final thesis point that isn't too dumb and/or predictable and...I can't compare the emotional state at the end of each female lead cause I'll RUIN it(!)
And they're both doing things (the films). There are questionable aspects re: feminism and whatnot
which I won't get into right now because not all of us have taken women's studies courses and I can't dumb down my analysis for you, Kyle.
"you're a nice girl"

"I'm NOT a nice girl! I'm not! I don't have any pride!"

but everyone's so beautiful and put together with the wasp waists and also, in Splendor, there is less child/man type sexy love and less of an issue of race. Sigh. Those poor whites.
There is no sexy love. God. Yes. BUt
watch these two movies two nights in a row and see how you are also affected.

Wrote-a-poem

about goats.

I'm trying on working again and seeing what's up world what's up with this writing and such




Um, omg my cupcakes are delicious. And will be to/for anyone in attendance at Oscar Party CMDorr 010!!!

I've watched all the vids now, I think, excluding Avatar and Up.
F*ck yeah excluding Avatar. But maybe try to watch it for free on the internets stripped of any 3D charm or big time visual awesomeness ?

annie get yer goat

!!!

Let's get sexist!

quick, name something that we can get sexist about.




i want to go to portland. i want to leave now. this is me catching up to amandar's already development pre-senior year of college. this is me figuring out how to write novels (not)maybe

but i am wanting portland, and badly. what's the difference when i'm not with a plan for my life anyway and the family shit is so utterly f*cked and sore? continually. plus. i want 3 buck chuck and f*cking cheap cranberry crusted goat cheese logs.

i have spoken on here about goats before and you all should know what portland means. goats. cheese. ocean. not f*cking nebraska. let's go.

there is this plan

where, in between the not leaving the house but for chancedly and randomish,
and between workings, i work on writing, create this great piece of money-making scheme
fully researched

working title -- a zombie love story


did i meantion (i mean
mean to mention. will mention.) that i love creating the facebook event and then watching, refreshing, for people to make their respondings?

i make up words like an anyone, motherfucks. and curse with the love of them. that's a pixie way of putting it. like a cut. not the hair, but it's hard to grow out bangs when they keep as un-evening selves.
- needing side trims - changing lengths what with the parting on which side.

i forgot how distracting it gets.
the accoutrements of performing woman.
but also something easyish
just to rub a little cream in the strands and twirl it and pat it a bit and then mostly just leave it to hang from my head. twirling into tiny buns at back or taking the bangs up away from the face in my couch time. at the desk time.