sometimes i think myself a self-hating woman
you know. like a self-hating mexican. my grandmother is a self-hating woman.
ugh. don't read this, myfamily. i just remember talking about it with my mom when i was a kid. and this is always the point in the thoughts where i recount my dad saying
we could ne-ver have a woman president, are you kidding~~ with the monthlies?! you can't leave them next to the nuclear button. you know, that button that you press and the whole world gets nuked

can you
just give me all of the music

i've been biking a lot lately
and watching historical fiction or
action films or
fantasy

i listen to the harry potter books online on youtube
in reverse
and i swear i'd thought i'd read that sirius died but he's alive and it's not because of the backwards
at least not this backwards
=
i don't know where i'm going with the race relations

that is why we are friends
and that is why it is hard for us to be friends
*******

watched "bram stoker's dracula" (92) with gary oldman, winona ryder, keanu, and antony hopkins
i no longer care if i'm spelling correctly is a lie for which i'll later pay penance.
oh, also, the man from the princess bride and the first saw movie.

so it was very obvious in its iterations and its green fog, and yes one adaptation among soooo many, but it was nice (after all the true blooding and twilighting etc) to see some version where the vamp must still be vanquished. is humanized but monster, truly. which was lost in the translation to tv of true blood particularly. love is a feeling it can get you past blood and monstrosity but love cannot overcome death.

oh the long, luxurious hair of dracul --!

I was off

had dreams we had to move to portland before we could move to kansas city. kristin says if she got preg she'd deal with it meaning, she'd carry. give birth and support resulting baby. i'd "take care of it."
what would you do?
what would you do?
get up on my feet and stop making

I remember

lyin' in the wet grass...is what your latest title made me think of.
I was off
right now H arry Potter is silently screaming nooooooooooo

Also, Oh man Ralph Fiennes
I had no idea.

So Eric

finally presented me with cuttlefish sculpture for necklace or brooch, last night, and i glued eyes on today (hip-hoppedy-happy belated anniversary!!) right? right. f*cking absatively!

til i carried it to payless and then super saver and then hobby lobby
where we picked out some brooch pins and hair combs and i then proceeded to drop/break off it's cuttle-face.
f*ck.
me!
i ruined christmas.

oh

mandala

Oh you beautiful!

All you little beautifuls! And your beautiful beautiful
hair lengths!
If only you could see the image of the chou farci in this book here now. If only I had the goose fat ready to make the stewed broad beans. If only. Last night I was in there and loving every beautiful. Is that what wine does? But the whole day was a beautiful. Maybe I blame* Anne Carson. Or the fact of the air, warm, close to my skin and caressing. Isn't the air just a beautiful beautiful?




*thank