how to keep things at bay

Forever

I am never going to cut my hair this short again. I only will grow it.

I'm going to cut off my appendages

I feel like (a behavior) - Here, we are expressing our feelings in the form of a behavior. Again, these are unclear and indirect. They may be graphic and entertaining, but they are usually exaggerations and distortions which don't help us focus on our true feelings.

I feel like: ... strangling him ... shooting him ... wringing his neck ... telling her off ... teaching him a lesson ... filing for divorce ... dumping him ... quitting ... giving up ... jumping off of a cliff

In other words, people who use such expressions feel like a behavior, an action, an act. Thus, they are not in touch with their feelings. They may be acting out their lives as they think others would rather than acting as unique individuals. Or they simply imagine themselves taking action rather than actually using their emotions to motivate them to take appropriate action.

i just feel like SUCH a phony and SUCH an enforcer of patriarchy and SO much that there is nowhere to go and nothing that can be said. like
dumb dum dum dum

like

secret life of the american teenager.

like

an erk vacuums.

do you know how to get out of here do you know how to get rid of this carpet body. i feel like such a slab of a carpet. thought the blanket was a dog. was looking up dream definitions till 1:47 but I saw that there could be a ghoul over in the doorway so it was bedtime. Walk in the dark with your eyes closed it's less afraid.


hollow shell
hell. the eggs

are old. pull out.
there's a little
bit of chicken in each

each one. why
can't I realize
I'm alive

not end up
terrified. Like

when I realize
that we're both

each the empty casing.

performative
sadness or
pull the flask out of your bag
like it's a magic trick

O H FUUUCK

man. that movie.
you should watch it
and talk to me about it
or just drink some tequila with orange juice

yay for Jessica!

thanks to you for posting these, next time we will read in a less crazy noisy time