my bike is back :D

1. re: horkin' it up - hasn't in awhile! knock on wood. knock on all wooden objects!!
2. tell m that meeting with the counselor as mediator is a yes probably a yes.
3. i need that hat anyway.
4. i think last time i was in the building was switching my meds, or upping them because i was home for the holidaze. and we had a joint session there at some point.
5. almost told you to medicate yourself.
6. almost told you just don't talk to me anymore. cut contact if you're gonna cut contact. just quit FUCKIN' HASSLIN' MEEE
7. seriously.
8. maybe next time i'll have a formal dinner party, and/or get a skinnier table, so there's room to move from table to other rooms.
9. landlords inserted our storms today. i mean husband, wife, and son. and the son was not too keen to be there. i could relate. but also, if i ever talked like that to my mom SHE WOULD SUGGEST A JOINT COUNSELING SESSION

my bike was stolen on september 14th, and recovered a few days after. i have yet to hear anyone's opinion on when i recover it :(

Actually

ate a tenderloin last night - I barely ever eat a steak! The last time was at bread and cup. So, uh, the steak was good/crazy bc it had bacon and blue cheese "crust" and before we went to JTK we drank a watermelon four loko and then afterwards we went's to J's and drank a cranberry lemonade four loko. E fell asleep at a mid late night time but i stayed up past one (?) forced myself to bed and just now woke up.
This. Is an account. Of my night. Minus the fact that we also got D'Leon's at some point. ha
gotta figure out what i'm bringing to first thanksgiving.
kyle (and others) reading tomorrow, anybody wanna be my poetry date? c'mon c'mon

oh and baby keeps vomiting up food and sometimes mucous...boston/pug thing? or sick thing? he keep jumpin' around like he's fine...

HELLO EVERYONE

things
things
things
i haven't been on here in a ways
das racist
werk
paranormal activity 2
got my first gardasil shot 2day
it burned
ho ho ho
gardasil
now a recommended vaccination in the adult vaccination schedule! now something my insurance covers! thanks, insurance. thank you.

WHERE IS MY BIKE

1. i have a house
2. i borrow eric's bike already, i was wanting a new "my own" bike already
3. i'm not drunk
4. no one was killed for the bike
5. the apartment had a small kitchen
6. and so on and so on

sh*tty days

"bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch"
it is probably not a good idea to follow up shitty work day completion
with a small amount of forced starvation and biking
and a rushed preparation and slurping up of dinner
and then an apartment viewing ready to rent with the news of "so sorry, i just rented it"
bitch bitch bitch bitch

bc you didn't even want it sooo much but now YOU CAN NEVER HAVE IT. and nothing is available now but cracker jack boxes. and i have no hope.
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
and i'm so tired. but my bike has been, apparently, stolen. and kan said he'd help get another but UGH UGH UGH.

oh and the four glasses of port. sober just in time for bed and bike news just
in time to freak out about the apartment again, though i'd thought myself calm.
just enough to let out all the everything i'd been taunting myself with, to tears, in the car.
breaths
some breaths
and faster breathing.

just
fucking
sweat all over
everything
why don't you.


and i don't write poems. i haven't written any poems. i can't not think about all of the ways i am failing and how i was supposed to go to that movie tonight.

i, actually, texted my mom about the apt and the movie. i am renting! i am seeing! and then had to ruin the both of those.

whatever